Update

[myz_lilith]

I am not dead.

I have totally failed to give up entirely on either drink or cigarettes. However, I have managed recently on far less of either.

I still have no idea what's happening with my job. I think I won't have to get into any holiday pay battles as it looks like the job above mine won't be filled till the end of August. I am also tempted to apply for the job above mine. It requires management experience, and I have none. However, when I applied for my current job I had practically no Access experience, and now know stupidly vast amounts.

I have started a vaguely regular exercise routine, including pliates, swimming, and a twice weekly gym programme. I am hoping to add Yoga.

I seem to have lost my "switch off" button recently. I seem to have lost my ability to have fun. Apologies to anyone I was boring at at Wendyhouse.

I did manage to have a good night out in the week though. Random meetings are fun!

I have been through an obsessive stint of house tidying in an attempt to find both places I can be relaxed, and a tidy organised place to work. Both are ongoing and smothering. However, both feel far more possible and close to a conclusion than they ever have before. And if smells nice.

I have planted the garden with lots of brightly coloured plants. It is very pretty.

I want to have a barbeque, with lots of people and candles.

I have vast amounts of illustration work owing to several people. It is work I really WANT to do, and can do well, and can see clearly in my head. Yet it keeps getting burried. Or maybe I keep burying it. I think it scares me. Maybe because I'm afraid it will be terrible. Or maybe because I'm afraid it will be good.

I need a good portfolio both online and in print so I can take advantage of the six week break to do some proper fulltime freelance work. I have neither. Yet.

I still feel fat.

Comments

[silenti.livejournal.com]

due to internetting without glasses I read that as 'I need a good portillo'.....

[wideeyeddave.livejournal.com]

Hey lass, good to hear the occasional update, glad you're still alive.

[miss-behave.livejournal.com]

You didn't bore me at all that day. Was lovely to see you.

I'm just sorry I didn't make more of an effort to talk to others but my mind was on other things and I couldn't concentrate.
X

[princess-linzi.livejournal.com]

You're beautiful..

[keefybabe.livejournal.com]

If yer on about me, I couldn't hear you very well. My ears are a bit f*cked at the mo.

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

It wasn't directed at anyone in particular... I just felt like I was wandering round in a bubble all night and didn't actually connect with anyone or anything...

(So you DID think I was boring?! *sob*)

[keefybabe.livejournal.com]

No, I just couldn't hear you and you seemed to assume I did because I misheard you. You looked embarrassed then wandered off.

[bloodlust-uk.livejournal.com]

You're overhauling. This is good; I do that often. My overhaul today was my bathroom - it's supposed to be this serene place where you veg in water for an hour, but, well, suffice to say it wasn't.

Other useful overhauls include the wardrobe, and ex-boyfriends.

:)

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

I'm not very good at either of those... my wardrobe is always full of too-small clothes I'm determined to fit in again, or too-big clothes I don't dare throw out as that would trigger instant balloon effect.

And one of my ex's is my housemate!