Never trust anything that bleeds...

[myz_lilith]

So, my period started today. Which generally wouldn't be that much of a big deal. Apart from it's the first one in about eight years.

Many years ago I decided I wanted to be as baby-proofed as I could get, and started on the depo injection... and it had the side effect of drastically reducing and eventually stopping my periods. Which was a massive bonus - before that they were always ridiculously heavy, complete with nightmare PMT and utterly crippling lady pains.

I came off the injection for a while in 2003 after having to miss an appointment when I was in the wheelchair. For some reason I decided to take the opportunity to 'let my body be natural again for a bit'. Six months later I was curled up in agony on a table outside the Metropole, waiting for a taxi to take me back to the cottage, screaming at the top of my lungs at terrified passers-by "IN THIS DAY AND AGE NO WOMAN SHOULD EVER HAVE TO BE NATURAL!!!" I was straight back on the injection (and then a few years back moved onto the implant) and never looked back.

And now all of a sudden I get smacked round the uterus with all those old monthly joys of insane mood swings and agonising cramps... and SO much fucking blood. I know it's perfectly natural, but honestly? When you've not experienced it in so many years it really is freaky. My brain keeps screaming at me that this is terribly terribly wrong and that we're going to die soon. I completely get where Carrie was coming from. (Plus I think burning down a school gymnasium or two right now might make me feel slightly less stabby. Maybe.)

And, of course, I ~am~ worried that something has gone terribly wrong... there's no reason why my cycle should suddenly change (or, indeed, rise from the grave). It's probably just my body being bloody-minded (hah) and giving me one more thing to stress about, but freaked-out PMT-ing brain says otherwise. Am also worried in case it means my immunity to babyitis has been compromised, which is only adding to the freak out. So tomorrow is going to have to involve trying to find out what happened to Family Planning in Leeds, and tracking down someone knowledgeable to talk to.

As for tonight, I have a ridiculously long list of things I need to do this evening, but right now that's been reduced to curling up around a hot water bottle and a bottle of whisky, and cursing being female.

(And if I do accidentally develop telekinetic powers I shall try not to burn the whole world down, but the mood I'm in right now I'm making no promises...)

Comments

[glassrat.livejournal.com]

Can I suggest you go to the docs, sounds like best to check.

Babyitis prob not afected, though if you are in the last 6 months of implant they will swap and give you a new one.

Hormone levels also fluctuate and move to a different level in women between every 2-10 years so what worked before wont always work for your body now.

Heat pads are the way forward for surviving at work without anyone noticing a hot water bottle. I used to use lots.

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

I'm sure it is just perfectly normal hormonal fluctuation, when I think about it sensibly. However I'm finding it hard to think sensibly as I'm all hormonal ;-) Also, I think that they did say that the injection is more of a massive whack of hormones whereas the implant can be a bit more subtle as it's slow release, so it might just be that where the injection completely obliterated my natural cycle the implant is allowing it to break through a bit. Yay, fun!

I don't have a heat pad but I do have a microwaveable dinosaur. I wish I had just brought it into work anyway, as I can get away with a certain level of weird here, especially given the amount of silly fluffy purple things I have on my desk already...

[bikerfaerie.livejournal.com]

Nothing practical to say, since you are going to look up people who know and can tell you far more anyway I'm sure that's covered. Fairly sure you're not going to die though. And please don't cover us all in blood and collapse a gym on us. Maybe we should find some horrid people for you to take it out on ;o)

Just wanted to send hugs from someone who understands the sort of pain that gets so bad it feels like it might be fatal on occasion. Plus have my genghis llama icon, it was made for me after I said that's how hormones can get me. May it pass quickly!

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

Genghis Llama is a genius expression - I am certainly going to have to steal that at some point! And thank you :-) I feel like such a wuss but had forgotten quite what this felt like...

[fleurdumal.livejournal.com]

Could it be that the impant is due to run out in the next 6 months or so? Because that can cause the bleeding to start again; it's a strange hormone. Try the GUM Clinic (or one of the Leeds Sexual health drop ins - try leedssexualhealth.com for opening times). Trust me, I'm not an expert, but I do advise teenagers on these issues on a fairly regular basis; a referral via a doctor is likely to take longer than visiting a drop in.

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

I'm one-and-a-half years into it so should be right in the middle, which is why I was slightly worried. A lot of the drop-in's seem aimed at under 25s, which is annoying... are you meant to stop having sex at 25 or something?

[fleurdumal.livejournal.com]

Hah, that's funny (not the implant bit, but the stop having sex bit...). You can find drop ins all over Leeds, ones without age resitrictions, on here: http://www.leedssexualhealth.com/contraception

[blondelass.livejournal.com]

Implant about to end went through my mind too. If it's new, is it the same style/dosage of implant they usually give? Are you taking any other sort of medication? I've read that can affect it.

Your mood box thingy is very apt for this post, by the way.

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

It's the second one I've had and the other went all the way through with no periods... and this one is only one-and-a-half years into a three year does, which is why it's so strange.

(And yes, I'm always impressed by that icon range as you can always find something disturbingly appropriate in there!)

[cyberlite.livejournal.com]

The clinics are quite awkward to find- even the people working them admit this, with a lack of properlyplaced updated lists, a range of new buildings, and the wrong addresses and phone numbers. However I've got the updated list with times and everything on my fridge- I'll pop details on here a little later on if you like?! :)

[cyberlite.livejournal.com]

Right,
Monday- East Leeds H C 12-7, Armley Moor Heath 1-7
Tuesday- Reginald Centre Chapeltown 12-7
Wednesday- Beeston Village Medical 12-7
Thursday- Burmantofts Health Centre 10-5
Friday- Beeston Village Medical 9-4:30

The best ones are the Beeston and the chapeltown ones in my experience so far for having useful people for more than just the big-standard pill.
Hope that helps!!

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

You are a star, thank you! Everywhere I looked online kept sending me back to Leeds Sexual Health, which seemed determined to assume I was under 25! I knew there must still be normal Family Planning things going on somewhere but they definitely don't make them easy to find...

[cyberlite.livejournal.com]

Wait till you try driving to them! Don't google map - they're mostly unfindable!
The Beeston one is pretty easy to find, and the new Chapeltown one is above that shiny new library. The Burmantofts one I thought was a bit crap with no one that day to dispense anything apart from the pill.

If you make it to a clinic - get the updated sheet of when things are open, complete with updated phone numbers!

I got my implant taken out last year - I loved the idea, but over time the bad side effects just built up more and more. I'm on the patch now, and still to be decided on them.. Having periods again is pretty ghey. It's not like I want kids - so why do I have to bleed?! Good luck with yours btw.

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, back when I was on the injection I always used to go to Woodsley Road but I had a feeling that one had closed.

Ironically, the Pregnancy Advice Service is in the building where I work, but I have a feeling you may actually need to ~be~ pregnant to talk to them (plus I have this irrational fear that it could be catching ;-) )

[cyberlite.livejournal.com]

Yep they closed that one, and were apparently going to move everything to the new place in Chapeltown. Except that they haven't and there's a brand new facility mostly empty throughout the week now. There's still the excuse that it's new when no-one knows what's happening, but that's a bit of a cheap excuse since they actually moved in in September.

There's still the nice lady who (really!!) likes David Essex, who does the implant stuff, although she's gone and lost loads of weight so I didn't recognise her at first! And she has the best info about all the types of contraception available and all their side effects, if you can get her!

[blondelass.livejournal.com]

The Armley one is easy to find also. It used to be behind the shoe heeling place but it's now a brand new building up the hill on the left (opposite the park) and set back a little from the road.

[redjel.livejournal.com]

aww darling, I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble. But to be honest, from what I know of the implant there are greater chances of side effects, such as spotting or full blown periods, and because you've not had them in a long time they will tend to be painful.

Knowing that doesn't help though, if you can bear it go for a gentle walk just up and down your road or something, help the body to calm down. When I explain to men that period cramps are the same as those agonising cramps you get in your legs, but internally and come in waves they generally look completely horrified. But so try and move gently and keep calm, keep the microvable dinosaur on hand and maybe start taking oil of evening primrose? I react very badly to the pill and so I don't use any form of them and so have to put up with it every month (and it still suprises me every month - I wonder why I'm so sad? I wonder why I can't stop crying? OH. THAT'S WHY) and taking oil of evening primrose everyday has lessened the cramps.

Nice cups of hot chocolate help too.
xxx

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

Ooh, we do actually have something that genuinely resembles hot chocolate in the machine at work (unlike the alleged coffee and tea) and I didn't even think of that... which is strange seeing as I nearly bit Kris's head off last night when I discovered there was no chocolate in the house and sent him out into the cold dark night to hunt some down! Mind you I am actually feeling slightly more human and less wrathful today...

I used to take evening primrose oil for eczema but haven't for many years - if this is going to become a regular thing (and I hope not!) then I'll have to look into that again too.

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

(And I know what you mean by it sneaking up on you. I remember back in the old days, the only way I knew I had PMT was when I'd start sobbing uncontrollably at a slightly sad moment in a soap opera or something ridiculous like that... it's only then that I'd say "Ah! ~Now~ I get it...'

[redjel.livejournal.com]

It's when I start crying at adverts that I realise *something* must be up. I cried at a car insurance ad the other day - can I really be this sensitive, I thought? Really? This soppy? No, no, no. Just idiotically hormonal.

I think hot chocolate is the way to go about it, I know you're supposed to have camomile tea, but it tastes revolting. Hot chocolate will be nice and warm and you get the benefits of chocolate!!! :DDDDDDDD

Hmm I hadn't thought of oil of evening primrose for eczema, I will recommend it to my sister!

I will *actually* make it to bookclub this month as I will have enough money, will you be coming out to play? It's been ages!! xxx

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

Yes, definitely! (I can't remember when it is and probably won't have time to read the book, but when has that ever stopped me? ;-) ) Will be wonderful to see you!

[redjel.livejournal.com]

Yay!!! I'm not sure when it is either, so I'm hoping people will send out something on facebook! The book's not world-changing so I wouldn't worry too much about reading it, it's a bit of clumsy 'coming-of-age' type novel and not that interesting.

It'll be so lovely catch up, can't wait!! :D

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

17th February at Fab Cafe :-)

[ladybirdintheuk.livejournal.com]

Poor you. If nothing else, going to get it checked out will put your mind at rest, even if the answer if that it is "just one of those things" and you are still baby-proof (which I'm sure you will be at least you will know!

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I'm absolutely fine, I think in one of those oh-so-funny feedback loops it was hormones causing the panic!

Ooh, and might you be able to run away to London one weekend when I am there? Upcoming visits are 11-13 Feb, 4-6 March and 15-17 April. Would be lovely to see you... if not will have to see if I can include a trip across to Winchester...

[ladybirdintheuk.livejournal.com]

We won't be able to next weekend, but either march or April is a posibility :)

[thene]

"IN THIS DAY AND AGE NO WOMAN SHOULD EVER HAVE TO BE NATURAL!!!"

fucking signed, cyborgification all the way bby! I would be srsly shocked if, even a few decades from now, women in the future continued to bleed all the damn time. We don't have to, and I figure a lot of people would choose not to if it were presented as a straight-up choice (which it fucking is).

Leeds Sexual Health dropins are awesome - I used to go to one at a small clinic right next to the mosque and the methodist centre...

[myz-lilith.livejournal.com]

Absolutely - when I was younger I actually remember writing a (semi-porn) sci-fi thing in which the Mary Sue character didn't have to deal with periods or worry about getting pregnant because of a high tech implant in her arm. And here we are living in the future and yet I know people who still suffer horribly every month (and get pregnant by accident) because 'the pill's just not natural, is it?' And it's their choice and I do respect that, but it doesn't stop me inwardly screaming 'But WHY?????'

[thene]

Ooh, I do hope those people don't, like, wear anything made of synthetic fibres, or drink pasteurised milk, or eat anything with e-numbers in it, or drive a car, or use the internet, or...yeah.

WE LIVE IN THE FUTURE NOW, IS THAT NOT TERRIFYING.

[miss-behave.livejournal.com]

I'm in the last 6 months of my second implant. The first one gave me breakthrough bleeding for the first 6 months and then a period that lasted 3 months non stop. Once that had settled was plain sailing for the next 2 years.

Implant has never stopped my bleeds and I still get them regularly, thought they are a lot lighter and far more manageable.

I have to say that although there have been ups and downs I love this form of contraception as 3 years of not having to worry is bliss!