The 100-ish rules of Whitby

In honour of the fact that vixmonsta and I have booked a cottage for November, it's probably time to update the (nearly) 100 Rules of Whitby:

1. Do not die
2. Try not to be on fire
3. Sambuca makes a good breakfast (goth girl/footballer optional)
4. Sambuca and superglue do not mix
5. Bunny ears go with everything
6. All things that are bad for you are fun
7. Anything that reaches a sufficient level of insanity becomes compulsory
8. Try not to be naked in public
9. Do not die
10. You should always be able to fit a bottle of vodka in your corset
11. Everywhere is within staggering distance
12. It's always Jim's fault
13. Do not go drinking with the football team on a Saturday night
14. Do not drink the washing up liquid again, Andy
15. Never pass up any opportunity to steal a tank
16. Always steal from the best
17. Do not steal the Endeavour (even if you're dressed as a pirate)
18. If Lilith offers you a coloured drink, for the love of god say no!
19. Do not die
20. Do not die
21. Do not die
22. Do not die
23. Do not die
24. Do not die
25. Do not die
26. Do not die
27. Never make Ellie be on time
28. Try not to break the space/time continuum
29. Always ask 'Can I taste it?'
30. Sensible people don't throw themselves down a mountain with an ironing board strapped to their feet
31. Do not confuse Whitby and snowboarding
32. Stop being self conscious
33. Don't write the Rules in the 12th pub
34. Do not turn the Rules into a drinking game
35. Don't get caught
36. If you need to look behind you when you're running away then you're not running fast enough
37. Don't point and stare
38. There is always a good reason why we didn't win the football
39. Purple is a valid argument
40. Never question a free bacon butty
41. Turtles all the way down
42. Always know where your towel is
43. Always say 'banana' when having your photo taken
44. No, you look ~more~ gay
45. Parenthesis are your friend
46. If it doesn't come when you pull on it, give up
47. Gingers
48. The cake is not a lie
49. Avoid the sparkly bastards
50. More pork products
51. Stop being a gick
52. Stop it and tidy up
53. Don't forget the pokey stick
54. Always make friends with the bar staff
55. Incoherent rules must always be obeyed
56. I never wanted to be arbitrator of the Whitby Rules List - I wanted to be a lumberjack!
57. Drink more
58. It makes sense to be a lesbian
59. Stop.
60. Hammertime!
61. If a cocktail is called 'Mr Pissy', don't trust it
62. Always look after your mates
63. Never leave your cotton buds in the pigeon loft
64.
65. You can do the Timewarp to anything
66. If Lilith offers you a coloured drink, say yes!
67. Do not die
68.
69. Dude
70. In an emergency, wipe it on the curtains and leave by the nearest exit
71. Don't run
72. Rohypnol is not a legitimate ingredient in a drinking contest
73. Extra points for a lapdance from a football player in a kilt
74. Don't touch the moon, it gets tetchy
75. Do not die
76. No, really, don't
77.
78. You are always innocent unless you've slept with Morph
79. Break base 8
80. All boys must kiss Pablo
81. Don't park in the sea
82.
83. Nothing pink is dangerous
84. Cluck cluck
85. Always break at least one rule (preferably Rule 13)
86.
87. Shadow play in front of the church should always depict either fist fighting or anal sex
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94.
95.
96.
97.
98.
99. Emergency pizza
100. DO NOT DIE

Thanks to our many many contributors and the alcohol that fuelled them. We shall complete the list in November (and whereever appropriate in between) and then subject it to extensive destruct testing :-)