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So I'm sat here with foot up, reading updates from people making their way to Resistanz, and feeling extremely envious that they're there and I'm not.
And then laughing at myself. Out loud. (Luckily Kris is quite used to this by now and just ignores me and carries on playing Warcraft.)
Mostly because even with full mobility I wouldn't have been going to Resistanz - I would have been out paintballing with Hannah for her birthday, and then on to birthday cocktails this evening. (And the latter I'm still doing, as I assume it will involve less running round and being shot at. Although I may take a water pistol along on principle...)
It's bizarre. The only thing that ever makes me really jealous is seeing people talking about events - festivals, gigs, parties, pub nights, gatherings, lunches, lectures, signings, envelope-openings, anything - that I can't go to. Even if the whole reason I can't be there is because I'm somewhere else, totally by choice, doing something I'd far rather do.
Want to be everywhere, want to do everything.
Plus you know what? Over the past two days I've read four books that have been sat in my reading pile since forever, finally got around to starting on season two of Misfits and season one of True Blood, and had the sort of relaxing wind-down time I've been needing since the start of the year. Really should be appreciating that rather than whinging about the circumstances.
And I definitely need to keep that in mind on a full-life scale over the next few months.
Ever since I definitely decided I was moving to London I've felt completely in limbo - not yet gone, but not quite here - especially over the past couple of months while I've got my portfolio together properly. And that's just going to get worse as time goes by, especially when it's fuelled by ongoing stress (about job applications/if anyone is ever going to reply to them/what more I can be doing/etc.) And if I let it it's going to take over completely and I'll end up wishing my life away until I move, rather than making the most of everything right now.
Need to enjoy the right here rather than wishing to be everywhere else at once.
Well, either that or get properly started on the me-cloning programme...
And then laughing at myself. Out loud. (Luckily Kris is quite used to this by now and just ignores me and carries on playing Warcraft.)
Mostly because even with full mobility I wouldn't have been going to Resistanz - I would have been out paintballing with Hannah for her birthday, and then on to birthday cocktails this evening. (And the latter I'm still doing, as I assume it will involve less running round and being shot at. Although I may take a water pistol along on principle...)
It's bizarre. The only thing that ever makes me really jealous is seeing people talking about events - festivals, gigs, parties, pub nights, gatherings, lunches, lectures, signings, envelope-openings, anything - that I can't go to. Even if the whole reason I can't be there is because I'm somewhere else, totally by choice, doing something I'd far rather do.
Want to be everywhere, want to do everything.
Plus you know what? Over the past two days I've read four books that have been sat in my reading pile since forever, finally got around to starting on season two of Misfits and season one of True Blood, and had the sort of relaxing wind-down time I've been needing since the start of the year. Really should be appreciating that rather than whinging about the circumstances.
And I definitely need to keep that in mind on a full-life scale over the next few months.
Ever since I definitely decided I was moving to London I've felt completely in limbo - not yet gone, but not quite here - especially over the past couple of months while I've got my portfolio together properly. And that's just going to get worse as time goes by, especially when it's fuelled by ongoing stress (about job applications/if anyone is ever going to reply to them/what more I can be doing/etc.) And if I let it it's going to take over completely and I'll end up wishing my life away until I move, rather than making the most of everything right now.
Need to enjoy the right here rather than wishing to be everywhere else at once.
Well, either that or get properly started on the me-cloning programme...
